Main Entry:
1hoot
Pronunciation:
\ˈhüt\
Function:
verb
Etymology:
Middle English houten, of imitative origin
Date:
13th century
intransitive verb
1 : to shout or laugh usually derisively
2 : to make the natural throat noise of an owl or a similar cry
3 : to make a loud clamorous mechanical sound
transitive verb
1 : to assail or drive out by hooting
2 : to express or utter with hoots
It seems that the Fourth of July, with its Fireworks and various celebrations, has such a hold some people that they must simply Yell, Scream, Holler, and yes Hoot. The amount of noise that boomed out across the landscape of my little village, from the throats of people, was really quite scary. The primitive outbursts were almost continuous for the four days I had off.
So I have begun to ask myself, “From where does this come, this need to yell and shout?” I personally cannot recall ever Hooting out “WHOOO HOOO” at the top of my lungs nor can I say I have witnessed any of my friends or associates doing so either. So I am perplexed as to what causes one to “Hoot”.
Being inquisitive, I began to ask various people, at random, “do they personally Hoot?”, and if so “what is the catalyst that causes them to lose control and assault the world with their noise?” My finding’s were enlightening and I feel the need to pass on this most valuable knowledge to my fellow man, in the manner of friendship and understanding that I am so well known for.
Well, of the ten persons asked only two admitted to ever Hooting. This I found strange in that the amount of sound coming from the lake below my mountainside home told of a far greater proportion of screamers than just 20%. When asked why they shouted out so, the answers where interesting. One person said they found the sight of a man’s backside exciting enough to Hoot, the other proclaimed that they Hooted when witnessing someone fall into a mud puddle. As both of those particular incidents, are rather mundane for, how many male backsides do you see in a day? And how many trips and falls has a person witnessed in their life? I found it odd that one would feel the need to Hoot over them.
So I asked the next question; what were you “The Hooter” doing at the time that you hooted?
Drinking……..
Alcohol seemed to be the underlying lynch pin in the release of hoots upon the world. Even those who have never hooted themselves can invariably trace back to a witnessed hoot, the consumption of alcohol of some sort. If I was to venture a guess, the drink of choice would be Budweiser or perhaps Allen’s Coffee Brandy for the ladies.
But this none too startling revelation answers not the question, for along with my kind, caring and understanding demeanor, I have also been known to have a Pint or two, or three, or four etc. And during my peak times whilst I swilled fifth’s of Bushmill’s and Stoly’s on a daily basis nary a Hoot did I or my mates let out. So it seems that, though alcohol, is partly responsible for the existence of Hoots (the sound) and Hooters (those who make said sound), it is obviously not the main factor. So what is?
If we look at a particular Hooter or two, such as the pair mentioned above, we can see that some sort of event was going on and that through the use of alcohol, the Hooters felt comfortable enough to let themselves free for the entire world to enjoy. Once Anheiser Bush removes the need to compose one’s self in a civilized manner, Hooters begin their primitive screaming. Reaching down, probably not too far, into their inner being and embracing the savage nature that is man, they hoot out in delight over the simplest things. The formation of words or even common gestures of approval for an act or sight is no longer needed as their primordial instincts kick in. Having not the pleasure of embracing that savage inner self, outside of a murderous impulse on occasion, I have become fascinated with these Hooters and their ways.
As I have ascertained, Hooters are probably about 20% of our population. That means 20% of all people feel closer to their primitive selves and have the ability to embrace it through minor stimuli and alcohol consumption. I believe, that the Hooters themselves, are unaware of how close they are to our cousins the apes who make loud outbursts as well as in savage fury or joy, but I feel they would benefit greatly by this small bit of knowledge. For through understanding we grow, do we not?
Though, I doubt if I would confront a Hooter with this bit of knowledge whilst they are in the midst of their boisterous noise making. This could prove dangerous for, the very same inner being and lack of inhibition, that causes Hooters to exist in the first place, lays very closely to the savage nature of man’s true self, and if said Hooter feels no restraint in joy, I am sure they more than likely feel no restraint in violence either. So to no good end could one address this point at such a time.
Perhaps the following day is best while their small ape like brains are suffering from lack of hydration (hangover).
I also found that Hooters and Hoots only appear and occur in groups. What I mean by that is, one rarely if ever hears a Whoo Hoo unless there are at least 4-5 people gathered together along with the other criteria established earlier, i.e. Alcohol, minor stimuli, and knuckle dragging personalities. If, by chance, one was to witness a hoot where the other criteria were not met, then one could only conclude that the Hooter was insane. Think of a person walking along a sidewalk mid day in any town in the world, and said person begins to Whoo Hoo. What would you think?
Exactly.
We cannot help but conclude that Hooters, (those that Hoot not the other kind) are much more easily influenced and controlled through stimuli, though the other type is as well, and that they are more than likely persons of lesser intellect and development. I daresay it is the duty of us all, to bring these souls up from their savage state and into civilized society through research and education, for the betterment of mankind. I urge you all, to examine Hoots and especially Hooters, very closely and do your part for our species by helping them to grow.
Slainte’
Blighter
1hoot
Pronunciation:
\ˈhüt\
Function:
verb
Etymology:
Middle English houten, of imitative origin
Date:
13th century
intransitive verb
1 : to shout or laugh usually derisively
2 : to make the natural throat noise of an owl or a similar cry
3 : to make a loud clamorous mechanical sound
transitive verb
1 : to assail or drive out by hooting
2 : to express or utter with hoots
It seems that the Fourth of July, with its Fireworks and various celebrations, has such a hold some people that they must simply Yell, Scream, Holler, and yes Hoot. The amount of noise that boomed out across the landscape of my little village, from the throats of people, was really quite scary. The primitive outbursts were almost continuous for the four days I had off.
So I have begun to ask myself, “From where does this come, this need to yell and shout?” I personally cannot recall ever Hooting out “WHOOO HOOO” at the top of my lungs nor can I say I have witnessed any of my friends or associates doing so either. So I am perplexed as to what causes one to “Hoot”.
Being inquisitive, I began to ask various people, at random, “do they personally Hoot?”, and if so “what is the catalyst that causes them to lose control and assault the world with their noise?” My finding’s were enlightening and I feel the need to pass on this most valuable knowledge to my fellow man, in the manner of friendship and understanding that I am so well known for.
Well, of the ten persons asked only two admitted to ever Hooting. This I found strange in that the amount of sound coming from the lake below my mountainside home told of a far greater proportion of screamers than just 20%. When asked why they shouted out so, the answers where interesting. One person said they found the sight of a man’s backside exciting enough to Hoot, the other proclaimed that they Hooted when witnessing someone fall into a mud puddle. As both of those particular incidents, are rather mundane for, how many male backsides do you see in a day? And how many trips and falls has a person witnessed in their life? I found it odd that one would feel the need to Hoot over them.
So I asked the next question; what were you “The Hooter” doing at the time that you hooted?
Drinking……..
Alcohol seemed to be the underlying lynch pin in the release of hoots upon the world. Even those who have never hooted themselves can invariably trace back to a witnessed hoot, the consumption of alcohol of some sort. If I was to venture a guess, the drink of choice would be Budweiser or perhaps Allen’s Coffee Brandy for the ladies.
But this none too startling revelation answers not the question, for along with my kind, caring and understanding demeanor, I have also been known to have a Pint or two, or three, or four etc. And during my peak times whilst I swilled fifth’s of Bushmill’s and Stoly’s on a daily basis nary a Hoot did I or my mates let out. So it seems that, though alcohol, is partly responsible for the existence of Hoots (the sound) and Hooters (those who make said sound), it is obviously not the main factor. So what is?
If we look at a particular Hooter or two, such as the pair mentioned above, we can see that some sort of event was going on and that through the use of alcohol, the Hooters felt comfortable enough to let themselves free for the entire world to enjoy. Once Anheiser Bush removes the need to compose one’s self in a civilized manner, Hooters begin their primitive screaming. Reaching down, probably not too far, into their inner being and embracing the savage nature that is man, they hoot out in delight over the simplest things. The formation of words or even common gestures of approval for an act or sight is no longer needed as their primordial instincts kick in. Having not the pleasure of embracing that savage inner self, outside of a murderous impulse on occasion, I have become fascinated with these Hooters and their ways.
As I have ascertained, Hooters are probably about 20% of our population. That means 20% of all people feel closer to their primitive selves and have the ability to embrace it through minor stimuli and alcohol consumption. I believe, that the Hooters themselves, are unaware of how close they are to our cousins the apes who make loud outbursts as well as in savage fury or joy, but I feel they would benefit greatly by this small bit of knowledge. For through understanding we grow, do we not?
Though, I doubt if I would confront a Hooter with this bit of knowledge whilst they are in the midst of their boisterous noise making. This could prove dangerous for, the very same inner being and lack of inhibition, that causes Hooters to exist in the first place, lays very closely to the savage nature of man’s true self, and if said Hooter feels no restraint in joy, I am sure they more than likely feel no restraint in violence either. So to no good end could one address this point at such a time.
Perhaps the following day is best while their small ape like brains are suffering from lack of hydration (hangover).
I also found that Hooters and Hoots only appear and occur in groups. What I mean by that is, one rarely if ever hears a Whoo Hoo unless there are at least 4-5 people gathered together along with the other criteria established earlier, i.e. Alcohol, minor stimuli, and knuckle dragging personalities. If, by chance, one was to witness a hoot where the other criteria were not met, then one could only conclude that the Hooter was insane. Think of a person walking along a sidewalk mid day in any town in the world, and said person begins to Whoo Hoo. What would you think?
Exactly.
We cannot help but conclude that Hooters, (those that Hoot not the other kind) are much more easily influenced and controlled through stimuli, though the other type is as well, and that they are more than likely persons of lesser intellect and development. I daresay it is the duty of us all, to bring these souls up from their savage state and into civilized society through research and education, for the betterment of mankind. I urge you all, to examine Hoots and especially Hooters, very closely and do your part for our species by helping them to grow.
Slainte’
Blighter
1 comment:
Well, I guess some of us like to hoot to express ourselves while others need to blog...
Post a Comment